“The auditor found the discrepancy. Allegedly, it’s been going on for years.”
“The CFO did what?”
“500K’s not an irregularity. Was he walked out?”
I lurk behind the woman stuffed into a fancy dress and her dark-haired colleague with diamond earrings, who are whispering at the buffet table.
They pay me no mind. People in this office never do.
That’s okay. Human connection is overrated.
“He won’t get far in a six-by-ten cell,” Red Dress says.
“HR called the cops?”
“Of course, we did. It’s an indictable offence.”
I shuffle forward, bypassing the shrimp ring, and zero in on the sausage rolls. Silver forks line the crisp white tablecloth, like soldiers awaiting orders. I take one, stab the golden pastry, and pop it in my mouth.
Unlike the sales people queued at the bar, I’m not a natural chatterbox, which is why I’m better suited to accounting. There’s nothing wrong with preferring quiet company. And numbers talk.
“The CFO knows where the money went.”
“His lawyer claims he’s inculpable, but the police are digging into his financials.”
“Why not ‘fess up?”
“Even if it’s recovered, he’s adamant his hands are clean.”
I wipe mine then gently pat my lips, concealing a smile behind the linen folds. The cops won’t find that money anywhere, no matter how hard they look. The CFO can’t reveal its location, no matter how much heat they apply. I’m one hundred percent certain because I’m the one who hid it.
“Fred?”
I startle.
“Were you eavesdropping?” Sparkly
Ears asks.
“It’s Ed,” Red Dress corrects her.
“No, ma’am,” I assure them
both.
It’s Ned, but I stay silent.
No one remembers my name, despite having worked here two decades. Doesn’t bother me, not one bit. Invisibility has perks.
Back when cash was king, I handled the sales team’s expense accounts. The lot submitted altered receipts and claimed personal spending as business costs, like family dinners.
Skimming cash was easy. I imagine it’s not what Mom meant when she’d said to make the memories I’d been dreaming about a reality, but minimum wage couldn’t fund them. Everybody has a breaking point.
Everyone snaps, right?
Digital forced a shift to embezzlement. It didn’t take long to create phantom vendors and send payments from the company to myself. It’s simple math. Twenty-five thousand over twenty years, slow and steady.
I’m relentless, not greedy.
Nobody suspected a thing until my manager mentioned ‘Silver Linings Inc.’
Thankfully, she rewards curiosity and approved a course which taught me how to reposition that account to the CFO’s holdings. Though it’s a shame those new skills can’t be acknowledged, that’s the price of eliminating problems.
The quiet realization that the account is now empty and my tracks are covered feels like a gift. While the CFO’s fall from grace is unfortunate, why should my dreams be unfulfilled?
Not only has this company underestimated me, but taking the money was justified.
None of this would’ve happened in the first place if they’d paid me what I’m worth.
Originally published in Bunker Squirrel Magazine on January 7, 2026. Thanks Tori Westminster for accepting this for Bunker Squirrel Magazine’s ‘Overheard at The Office Party’ call-out.