It’s Friday night, late  
I boot up a DVD, so last century
the screen flickers, a flash, memories
caught in time
me, draped in white silk, toes squished
into Jimmy Cho’s.
you, that smile, a penguin, hands
reaching out to mine.
To love and cherish forever.
When did the trouble begin?

Not during takeoff, the airport,
a honeymoon of
white sand and whispered promises.
Our first apartment?
New jobs, my dream of promotion,
never satisfied
crusty dishes and dirty laundry left
unattended
no space for feelings better off held
inside.

The bigger place, then? We gave it our
best shot
back porch sunsets, fancy drinks, birds
wheeling overhead,
ice cream at the kitchen table, a sugar
explosion
Was that us?
Me? The laughter?
I sniff, turn down the volume
Maybe another version of myself.

I slipped the ring off my finger in the
driveway seconds after you left
but I’ve worn it ever since
lost in a fog, all work, in search of more
success, burnt out
it hurts, my faults, money big and real,
drunk in emptiness.
I pick up the phone
stumble, apologize
fresher, a newer me
hoping time can give us another
chance.

Whether it be with a lover, a family member or a friend, the unravelling of relationships is part of the human condition. Do we feel the loosening as it’s happening? Or do we reflect upon it later with surprise? Relief? Regret? Ready, Now was published early February 2024 by Roi Faineant Press. Grateful for Melissa Anderson’s editing expertise, and for the continued support.