Most days I wake up early to watch my husband sleep. The morning sun filtering through the bedroom blinds highlights auburn streaks in his thinning brown hair. Although I want to run my fingertips through the ends, I don’t touch it. He’s calm. Peaceful. Content.
His chest rises and falls. I allow my eyes to trace the deep lines which run like scuttling spiders down the side of his neck. My heart pinches. Those creases reflect our loving twenty-four years together. Two kids, long-weekend camping trips. Soft blankets spread on the backyard lawn which welcome spring BBQs and lazy summer picnics. I can’t help but smile, just thinking about it all. Simple things, laughter, cherished time well spent.
But not all mornings can be the same. Today, I have burning questions.
Where were you last night, Jim? Do you truly believe the scrape of the key in the front door at one a.m. wouldn’t rouse me? Or the tread of footsteps as you crept upstairs? Or the slight give of the mattress as you slipped into bed? No, I was awake. Waiting.
It’s not the first time you’ve arrived home late. Where have you been? Another business meeting? A round of drinks with friends? Which friends, exactly? Colleagues? The baseball team? Whoever it was had to be familiar because when I checked your texts yesterday no new names popped up in the feed. Unless a contact disappeared.
I edge closer an inch to close the distance between us. Sunlight splashes across your cheeks. Your sour breath doesn’t bother me. I’m used to it. Nose to nose on the pillow, I whisper. Who is she? I hate my suspicion, my angry thoughts. That text exchange may have deleted, but the question still stands.
You stir, then still. I smooth my salt-and-pepper hair, then return to my side of the bed. Will we make it to our silver anniversary? It would be unfortunate if we don’t, but if that’s the case, I’ve thought a lot about it. Yes, I have.
I lace my fingers behind the nape of my neck, and gaze over. Your long-fingered hands are folded across your stomach. I smile sweetly but I hate being underestimated. Fair warning, Jim. My plans are brewing.
Originally published August 30, 2024 on Dru’s Book Musings. Ria Stiles is the protagonist in Flat Out Lies, now available online and at your local bookstore.