‘My Little Secret’ is out in the world. It’s an honour to be published among the talent in the Bunker Squirrel Magazine. Thanks Tori Westminster for including me 🥰
Saturday morning, ten a.m. The sun is high, the blue sky cloudless. With the workweek over, it’s a perfect summer day for indulgences.
I pass through the kitchen to the basement door and unlock the heavy bolt. As it creaks open, I stand motionless.
Close my eyes. Drawn in the smell of dank earth.
Intoxicating.
I descend the steps. Most people would rather have a root canal than go down to the cellar. I prefer the solitude.
It’s my space
Alone, cut off from the world above
Where I take off my mask
Where I can be myself,
To relish in my shortcomings, my broken pieces
Those sharp edges, all the quirks that thrill and delight me.
Anticipation propels me forward across the hard-packed ground to the metal shelf bolted to the back wall.
In front of it, I drop to my knees.
My heart soars knowing I have all weekend to be here, but people aren’t always kind to someone the likes of me.
They don’t relate to my fascination with beauty, nor understand my artistic appreciation,
They find my yearnings repugnant, which is puzzling when they’ve never taken the opportunity to give into their own desires.
Precious goods line the shelf. I lift my eyes and gently remove them, one-by-one.
No rush.
Each deserves their special time.
I deserve it, too.
Barbie’s dimensions are off, yet her silky hair tickles my fingers, and her cool skin is smooth, save for seams.
Gran’s porcelain dolls have those eerie, painted-on eyes, glassy fixed stares that see nothing, but they all see me.
Annabelle isn’t some inhuman spirit. She definitely lifts mine.
Talky Tina looks human, but not quite, and says she loves me very much.
Society can’t understand how grown men can love dolls,
But I can’t understand why not, when they mean so much to me.
There’s beauty in morbid and unusual items
There’s beauty in everything, alive or dead
From my perspective, beauty’s all in the eye of the beholder.
Originally Published in Bunker Squirrel Magazine on March 15, 2026